Homosexuality & The Church, More

A Gay Man’s Issues is the Same as Yours

At many times, people have tried to peg this one thing or that as the sole reason for why individuals deal with homosexuality and Same Sex Attraction (SSA). I’m not sure why we have so many times singled out homosexuality, but I don’t believe you can contribute it to just one thing. There are many factors that come into play, but there are patterns and themes to it all. And if we dare to look closer, I believe we will see that we all have experienced these same things (whether you’re gay or not!).

Landon Schott’s new book, Gay Awareness- Discovering the Heart of the Father and the Mind of Christ on Sexuality, makes a really good point that I want to share with you to talk about further…

“All gay people and everyone who struggles with SSA are unique individuals. All people have distinct personalities and characteristics exclusive to them. Like any person, no gay person is exactly the same as another. Despite their differences, there are two common themes I’ve heard more frequently than any others over years of interacting with and hearing the stories of gay people, the gay community, and my gay friends. Those common themes are abuse and the lack of relationship with one’s father…This cannot be ignored.” 

If we are honest with ourselves, we would admit that this is my theme and all of humanity’s theme as well. But wait you say, I wasn’t sexually abused. Well, abuse is so much more than just sexual. When dealing with homosexuality, we need to get past just always assuming that that person was horribly sexually abused. If a person says that they never were sexually abused, accept it (instead of walking away with an attitude that they are wrong and must be suppressing what really happened). There is actually two types of trauma that I have learned about from The Life Model which I highly recommend. This is a group of christians with various professional backgrounds working to see the Body of Christ all live from the heart as Jesus desires us to in full maturity:

1. Bad things that happen to you (i.e. rape, assault, war, molestation, emotional abuse, etc).

2. Absence of basic necessities (i.e. neglect, abandonment, malnutrition, insecure bonds, lack of joy in the home, etc).

(For myself, I wasn’t ever sexually abused but I struggled throughout my life more with the absence and neglect emotionally from what I needed.)

In case you still aren’t convinced that any of this applies to you, the second theme that Landon mentions should get rid of your skepticism. Even if you think you have never dealt with any trauma in your life, one thing is sure – no one’s human father did things perfectly. Whether your dad was a great dad or not, he can never compare to our Everlasting Father. You see, I believe that we all are in need of experiencing and knowing this more fully.

“O righteous Father, although the world has not known You, yet I have known You; and these have known that You sent Me; and I have made Your name known to them, and will make it known, so that the love with which You loved Me may be in them, and I in them.”                 John 17: 25-26

One of the last things Jesus prayed while on earth was that we all would know God as Father. He came to reveal God as Father because He knew just how badly we all need to know this; it’s crucial. He knew that our earthly fathers would no where be able to compare to our True Father. All that we are is based on this knowledge. Do we really know this great love that the Father has given us? Do I really believe just how good He is? If we did, I promise that things would be drastically different here on the earth. How we relate to one another and live our lives before God would look so different and holy.

Yet, we all struggle with this and things manifest differently for each of us. Every addiction, inclination toward sin, and bit of shame that we deal with so frequently reflects just how much we don’t yet know our Father. But at the root and core of it all, we all are wanting to belong and know that we are loved. We all are wanting attention and our identity and lives aren’t going to be stable until it’s grounded in knowing God as Father. This settles so many storms in the human heart. It levels things out and hopefully, we better see one another not by our flesh. I will close with this prayer for you and for all because all of life really comes down to this:

I am asking and keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which He has called you, the riches of His glorious inheritance in His holy people, and His incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength He exerted when He raised Christ from the dead and seated Him at His right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is invoked, not only in the present age but also in the one to come.


Do you agree or disagree that all people have these same issues? Which theme do you struggle with more to overcome? What was your relationship with your earthly father like, how did it make you who you are today, and how does that compare to what your Heavenly Father has made you into?


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