Last week, I shared on how to receive prodigals when they return. Today I want to share a piece of a friend’s story with you. Here is a real life prodigal story:
I trusted in Christ when I was 6 years old. My dad was a pastor and had his own ministry. When I got older because I loved them, I didn’t feel like I could come out to them. I didn’t want to hurt them. So I kept it from them…
I decided to move 2 states away from my family. I still was a christian but turned my back on God. I had 2 separate Facebook accounts: one with all my christian friends and then another one for all my gay friends that I was totally out with. I was dating guys, going to bars, doing all kinds of stuff. Over time, God began to pull the rug out from under me. Keeping these two lives separate became impossible. The facade started cracking and started affecting my job and friendships. I started going through depression really bad and even attempted suicide twice. I struggled because I was a believer yet God didn’t condone what I was doing..I tried denying that God existed so I could live this lifestyle. But in my heart, I knew God was real. At the time, I had christian roommates. I hid everything from them but things got to the point where they began to notice. Eventually, I told them about how I was living and about the attempted suicide. Once I told my roommates everything, they didn’t want to have anything to do with me and tried to kick me out. Thankfully, a couple of them had enough compassion to at least drive me to my parents’ house. I finally had to break down and tell my parents everything.
“For the Lord disciplines those He loves and chastises every son whom He receives…For our earthly fathers disciplined us for a few years, doing the best they knew how. But God’s discipline is always good for us, so that we might share in his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” Hebrews 12:6,10-11
After telling them, I think my mom cried for 3 weeks because they had no idea. I didn’t want to live my life on drugs or alcohol anymore; the sex was meaningless. I wanted to do what was right but I still needed answers as to why I was made like this. So my parents started this journey with me.
My parents tried to take me through conversion therapy and around that time was when Exodus collapsed. So I used that to rub it in my parents’ faces. “See you’re trying to get me to go through all this and it’s a fraud.” My parents kept telling me that God doesn’t make anyone gay but I didn’t choose this. What else do you call this? How else did I become like this? It was very offensive to me that someone would claim that I chose to be this way…sure I chose my actions, to get high, to drink, to go to bars, etc. But I didn’t choose to be who I am and how I was born. So it was a big struggle with my family. People started asking me: “You never date girls, are you gay?” So I would ask my dad how I should answer these people, because I was fine with telling them yes. I also though didn’t want to hurt my parent’s ministry. My dad would say to tell them that you’re not. But I didn’t like girls so what am I, what else do you call this? My parents and I would butt heads a lot and so I started to resent them. I felt like they wanted me to lie to people.
One night my dad gave me a book that he wanted me to read titled, “Born That Way After All.” I thought it was a trick, but eventually I read it. In the book, the author had me pegged..my quirks, my personality, my mannerisms, and how I am. He showed me that God makes some people different (without a desire for the opposite gender)for a purpose. For many years I thought I was a sad by-product of a fallen world, that I must have a broken sexuality. But I’m not broken, I was designed for a specific purpose but the culture had deceived me from that purpose. This blew my mind and changed my life! I now have no desire to go back to alcohol, sex, etc..because I’m no longer filling my life with trash. A void has been filled with this purpose: I help others not walk away from the gay lifestyle because of sexual change but because of a changed purpose in Christ.
According to scripture and Christ’s words, there are some people that are born without desire for the opposite gender for a reason. So it’s better for these ones to remain unmarried. Celibacy is viewed as a subtraction because its without marriage, wife, etc. Celibacy is not the gift. The gift is the ability to remain wholly dedicated to God in ways that He can’t use others. Married people aren’t able to fulfill this. Because of this unique blessing, giving up marriage is then easy! So why would I want God to change me when I understand the purpose?
Next week, I’ll address some of these questions and thoughts that my friend brought up. We will look closer to the scripture to see what we can find out.
LEAVE A COMMENT – SHARE YOUR STORY
Have you experienced a time of God’s discipline in your own life? How has He brought you back to Himself?