A Letter To My Abuser

Some may be surprised to read this blog post, but I thought that it would be a help to share what I have recently discovered. I pray that my honesty and courage will in turn give others strength to confront their own abuser. Grace and Peace to you all.

Dear  __________

I assume that you are probably shocked to receive this letter today, since you’ve spent all your life trying to hide who you really are. You thought that I wouldn’t be able to find you, where you live, or have enough courage to confront you. Well, you were wrong about me.

For so many years, you have belittled me to render me powerless against your damaging words. I see now how you have twisted things throughout my life so that I would believe a lie. You loved pushing the blame off of yourself and onto others, so you end up looking like my best friend. You tried to tell me that my parents were the real source of my problems. But that didn’t work because I know that no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes. Then, you tried to make me hate all the bullies and friends that have ever walked away or drawn back from closeness with me. You wanted me to think that only YOU saw my real worth and only YOU would care for me and provide intimate friendship. You became the comfort when I needed relief from that pain. But now I realize that it was you manipulating every situation so that you would appear to be my hero. Now that I think about it, everything that you ever have given me never seemed to last long or satisfy completely. In the end, you’ve proved to be just like everything else–temporary, a lie.

Your plan didn’t work! The problem here isn’t figuring out how to fix myself or recover childhood memories or forgive my parents or restore a blocked occurrence of being molested. No, all those things have become distractions in a way. Because now, you’ve been found out and I’m going to tell everyone about you. All will know who you are.

Your name is SIN and we all have a sin orientation.

Thanks to my adopted Brother, He has broken off the effect you had on me. Though your seeds still live within me, I now have power to overcome and live a better life. I know you will try to tempt me to return to you. But take this letter as my way of telling you that it’s over. I don’t want to ever see you again because you have no power over me.


To all who have read this, I hope you know that whatever your struggle that there is hope. God always provides the grace needed to overcome when we turn toward Him. Sinful desires, on this side of eternity, will always be a part of our lives. But, Christ provided the way out and we now can resist every desire of sin, no matter what it is. Let’s not forget the immeasurable greatness of His power that Christ has given us access to. We are free!

2 thoughts on “A Letter To My Abuser

  1. Wow, this really gripped me. I was like, “where is he going with this?” and “why is he doing an open letter to his abuser” and “is he really writing this right here on the net for everyone to see?” and then I was like “whoa.” And it hit me in the chest.

    How true. So many of us invite sin in our house thinking we can tame or domesticate it, and we get beaten so bad; then like a pathological relationship with an abuser, we invite it back into our house hoping it will love/satisfy/fulfill us this time. And again. And again.

    Thanks for sharing this, Kyle! God help us all to reject sin fully and follow him completely.

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