Hi. My name is Kyle and I’m attracted to men, yet I’m not gay.
To the world, this statement would be laughable and contested with. The world’s value system equates sexuality with our core identity. So if my attractions are towards the same gender, then I’m oriented that way, leading me to define that that’s who I am. One doctor explains, “the evidence that points to the truth about your sexual orientation is rooted in your emotional and physical attractions, whether stable or fluid, to other people.”
To the church, this statement makes many uncomfortable. They would tell me to not talk about them or go as far to say that I’m not saved, living in active sin because I have them. But there is also a growing number of people in the church that would agree with the world in telling me that I am gay and that they and God accept me and love who I am.
Every single one of us are searching for our purpose, who we are, and the meaning of life. Sexuality is just one of many things we try to ground our identity in(ie success, work, education, relationships, career, family, talent, etc). And this is becoming more and more popular today. As the world searches to grab on to something stable, confusion abounds.
Sexuality seems to be a poor choice in this matter. Why? Because attractions, emotions, and desires are all fleeting and fluid. If my identity is going to be in that, then hold on, it’s going to be quite a ride! So what we need is something eternal and sure.
The truth, Jesus, explains that who I am is found within my spirit. End of story. And so I am identified as either a child of darkness or one of the light, a son of disobedience following my own desires and passions or a son reborn by the Spirit of God, empowered to walk in holiness. So to the world, I say my identity is solid in Christ and who He says I am however and to whomever I’m attracted to. My identity isn’t in my sexuality. To the church, I say that I now have no excuse to follow any desires or attractions that I feel that are contrary to holiness as God has shown us in the Word. Yes I am loved just the way I am, attractions and all, but this doesn’t give license to any sexual behavior, whether heterosexual or homosexual, outside of covenantal marriage between a man and woman. This is who I am and how I define myself.