I’ve always wanted men. We all have a built in human desire for connection, relationship, and relational intimacy. For me, and I venture to say for most who experience same-sex attraction, we experience a very high level of it. Many times, this feels unbearable and I’ve asked God to take it away. Didn’t work. Trying to get a legitimate need cast out isn’t the answer either. Believe it or not, having anonymous sexual encounters and hookups won’t satisfy it. So what will?
Real genuine intimate relationship is the only answer! First, there must be a growing relationship with Jesus. Because THAT relationship can go to depths that no person can ever go. There is real life and healing to be found in Him. Second, there needs to be relationship built with others(to be Jesus with skin on per se). So what’s the problem?
Finding men that are willing to understand this want and still choose to give relationally has proven to be a difficult task personally. Being present with another in their need is a challenge for us all because it takes vulnerability, time, availability, and may require your physical touch.
Tim Timmerman writes:
In part, I believe homosexuality is a generational sin, and the absence of Christians has been one of the contributing factors. Homosexual desires are the result of neglect and abuses coming into fruition. Over the last 100 years, the lack of brotherhood, the sexualizing of touch, and the shortage of healthy, benevolent fathers and mentors secure in their masculine identity has hemorrhaged in the form of men desperate for touch and connection with others. The result is men who will resort to having sex with their gender-mates to try to get their core needs met. These men feel as if there is nowhere else to go to get the love they so desperately need.
Unashamedly, I want men…better yet, I NEED men! I believe that being needy like this is a gift. It causes me to humble myself before God in vulnerable prayer. It also can cause me to humble myself before others to risk in sharing my need with them and to ask for their help. It is a great opportunity for one another to serve and love and see Christ manifest tangibly.
I know that I must trust Christ to be the source to provide those friendships with men who will be vulnerable and willing to go to those depths for his brother. It might be awkward and messy for many but its worth it. What depths of love, joy, and healing might be available for those willing to face the depths of this need in a trusting friendship! The power of Christ in grace and love is immeasurable and great! Anything is possible.