To be honest, this last week for me has proved to be one with heightened loneliness, hopelessness, and pain. I can relate to in some small way to the blind man depicted in John’s gospel. Like him, I find myself in an unchosen condition in which I have no direct power over…resulting in much pain.
When asked about homosexuality, C.S. Lewis comments:
The disciples were not told why the man was born blind(John 9:1-3), only the final cause: that the works of God should be made manifest in him. This suggests that in homosexuality, as in every other tribulation, those works can be made manifest.
So I must ask myself, what is the glory and works of God that He wishes to do in my present situation? The Israelites were led for YEARS in the wilderness so that God “might humble you, testing you, to know what was in your heart, whether you would keep His commandments or not(Deut. 8:2).” So what in my heart is God after? Well, primarily I think it’s about my dependence, trust, and joy being filled in God- my source.
C.S. Lewis goes on to say “The homosexual has to accept sexual abstinence..(which) is merely a negative condition. But what should the positive life of the homosexual be?”
This is a great question to consider, one that I honestly had never pondered. It’s so easy to dwell on the lack of or on what one must constantly choose to lay down. But I do believe that all pain and loss can become a gateway into something greater that may benefit all. It’s best to focus on what I can receive from God and give to Him and others. So I must embrace the happier and lively(aka “gay” in it’s original word usage)side of things here. That’s where I find life.