Will YOU come out?

Last week, I shared about my attraction to men. Today, I wanted to share even more with you and appeal to you, the Church to come out. I’ve come to the conclusion that my current living condition puts me easily in the middle, alone.

On one side, I’m not going to get acceptance from the LGBT Community because I’m not identifying myself as gay nor condone gay sex or relationships. On the other side, the Church doesn’t get my situation, seeing homosexuality as an abomination, nor wants to take the time to get their hands “dirty” to understand or help walk things out at large.

So here I am, caught, needing to find community somewhere, especially support from connecting with my own gender. Sometimes I ask myself, Why is it easier for a man to find connection(sex) in the gay community than it is to get a genuine 10sec hug from a male in the Church? I am well aware of my needs and I can say I need you unashamedly. Paul described the Church in 1 Corinthians as many members in need of one another. In Acts, the Church gave so generously of what they had also so there wasn’t one that was in need. They gave much time daily to fellowship, discuss the scriptures, pray, worship, and be in each others’ lives.

If we desire to see people come out of the LGBT Community and into the Church, the Church has got to come out of FEAR. Time is needed, consistency is needed, healthy touch is needed, safety and vulnerability is needed, establishing belonging and inclusion in families is needed, etc etc. LOVE is needed above all! Love in the flesh, beyond words and prayer. Love always moves one to action.

So I ask you Church to come out of fear and embrace people that might look, act, and believe differently. Don’t let the fear of doing it wrong stop you from doing anything. Become a safe place of belonging for many. This is the first step. Let’s walk it out together.


One thought on “Will YOU come out?

  1. Howdy Kyle! I so appreciate your vulnerability and boldness in this matter. While I myself have never struggled in area of same-sex attractions, I did feel like the Lord Himself is putting his finger on how we as His bride are addressing it. The way I see it, there have been two general erroneous ways that the Church here in the West has handled this issue: 1). In the name of holiness, we have agreed with the Accuser in condemning people, whether by word, overt action, or lack of reaching out, as you mentioned. We have treated those who struggle like lepers, in many cases. 2). In the name of love, we have condoned the act of homosexuality.

    In my struggle for sexual purity over the years I have found that the only instances of victory were found in the context of community–brothers who would refuse to condemn me for falling again to masturbation, and brothers who would agree in faith, in prayer for breakthrough. I have come to believe that this is not an enemy that we are meant to overcome as individuals. And yet, because of fear of rejection, many do not go to their brothers for help–and I know many feel like they have no one to go to at all. Indeed, I have failed many times to be the support someone else needed. So I will stand with the Angel of the LORD from Zech. 3 in the defense of the LORD’s chosen, and not in the accusation of Satan; I will stand in agreement with anyone looking for breakthrough in this matter.

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